Laptop, Printer Woes, Dismal, and Comptine D'un Autre Ete

I am privileged enough to own my own laptop. I have owned it for about 3 or 4 years... it's kept me afloat through some tough times. I know that sounds shallow and moronic and that I should only say that sort of thing about people, photographs and stuffed animals, but it's more than true. So many people are skeptical of teeny-boppers and their interwebs and their Myspaces... mostly with cause. But I do do more than engage in mindless chatter on the internet. I make plans, organize events, have very important(yes) conversations, and write. I do a lot of writing. But apparently, if you want to be a good writer you have use a pencil and a notebook. If you write on the internet you're just obnoxious.

Well, sue me. My WPM keeps up with my thoughts a lot better than my pen does, and I don't get hand cramps. Plus, I have a variety of fun and exciting fonts to choose from.

I'm a bit tech-savvy, which means I demand more of my poor laptop. I've added a lot of software: web design, audio ripping, video editing, photo editing; the list goes on. Needless to say, my computer is no longer functioning at a... shall we say... fast... rate. It takes forever to load things.

Today was the straw that broke the camel's back. My grandpa gave us a fancy shmancy printer/copier/scanner/fax machine, and here's the coolest part: it's wireless. That means the WORLD to me because it means I can print without having to move. See, I use my laptop in my room, which is separate from our house. So every time I need to print something I need to haul my laptop inside, connect it to the printer, and then take care of business. This minor irritation grew to catastrophic proportions when my computer battery decided that it will only work when my laptop is plugged into a power source. In lamen's terms: In order to print anything from my laptop, I must

1. Spend 3 minutes shutting down my computer
2. Haul it into the house and plug it in
   
3. Spend 6 minutes restarting my computer
4. Print
5. Spend3 minutes shutting down my computer
6. Haul it back into my room and plug it in
7. Spend 6 minutes restarting my computer

It's really painstaking. It takes so long for my computer to start/shut down!

ANYWAY (that took a lot to write)... what I'm getting at is that I spent a good hour today installing this wireless printer onto my computer, and my poor lappy's frail hard drive couldn't take it. My computer is essentially dead until we try to get it fixed in a few days. I'm hoping with all my might that the information on my computer is saved... I have thousands of important Word documents, photos, files and software on it, and losing them would be... I can't even conjure the thought.

Conjuring. Sometimes when things in life seem so futile, I see why people resort to ecstasy and wrist-cutting. Granted, those are very idiotic things to do. But it's just something to do. It's like your life is this house of cards you've been working at for years and years to build, and when it all falls you stamp your foot and punch a wall and scream, "F this, I'm getting drunk!" And then leave without putting your coat on. Turning to drugs and alcohol and other poisons serves to beg the question, "What's the point?" Some people can't think of another way of asking than by slipping chemicals into their bloodstream and suffering from severe depression the next day. Me, personally: I eat. Food is my drug. When I am frustrated beyond all reason I grab five dollars and buy as much fattening crap as I can on it. After I've contracted Diabetes I still don't feel good at all-- actually, I feel awful-- but at least my frustration is gone.

Today's blog strikes me as rather dismal. I try not to write dismally, because whenever I reread it later in life it sounds absolutely ridiculous: "My life is spiraling downward into a black abyss of misery..." and whatnot. Who can take that seriously? Honestly? It sounds so deep and significant when you write it, but in the end it's all the same emo garbage.

I guess I'm just not chipper today. I've accomplished nothing sans killing my computer (I'm on my sister's and the Space key sticks; it's very annoying), I have nothing to do tonight, and I spent most of today waiting for a phone call I wasn't sure I was going to get and wasn't sure what I would say if it came. Well, I got the call, and, I didn't know what to say, and, it was fruitless, and, I'm sort of blindly angry that nothing came of it, so I'm just shooting off frustration and fury every which way with no "source" to pour it into. Maybe I'll go eat.

If you really want to be grossed out, listen to this: I'm wearing the same clothes today as I wore all of yesterday. I slept in them. And I may very well wear them to sleep tonight, again. I have no motivation ((see? We've been over this)) to put on new clothes if I'm not going to interact with anyone. That's just more laundry. Plus, I like this outfit. I'm wearing really comfy gauchos that make my legs look thin and my butt look even more extraordinary than it already is (even though I normally oppose gauchos as a fashion-don't). And then I'm wearing a black camisol that fits me loosely, creating the illusion that I have a small, petite figure and I am hiding it under a large shirt. The joke's on you: I don't.

In other news, I've printed out sheet music that I really want to learn to play: "Comptine D'un Autre 'Ete'" by Yann Tiersen.



Note: this not me playing.

I already have the bass clef down: it repeats every 4 measures and it's written in F sharp so it's not too difficult. It's absolutely beautiful. But... argh... the treble clef is a butt load of triplets, which are a pain in the ass to count out. I haven't taken formal lessons in about 4 or 5 years, so my piano handiwork is on the rusty side, but I really want to learn this song. It's incredible. Yann Tiersen is a genius.

On another note: if you watch a tape of a dance recital you were in and in the midst of criticizing everyone else's hard work the only person you cheer for is yourself, you need to take a long, hard look at the person you've become.