Resolutions, Hatred, Sweet Teacher Lovin', The Wiz, and Light Hearted Is-She-Joking Birthday Cynicism

Hello, and welcome to mid-February. Here are my New Years' Resolutions as I can recall them:

• Look upwards/straight forward instead of down
• Ask myself, "What harm could it do?" whenever I feel too lazy to do something
• Learn to drop things
  
• *NEW* Don't let hatred control my life

I'm calling attention to that last bullet because, as of late, I have all too easily let hatred control my life. I am in charge of so many things right now, and there are so many obstacles, that I don't have time to deal with anyone who is going to stand between my objective and me. {Within the time I wrote that last sentence to the point in which I began to write the next sentence, I had dinner, drove to Cocoa's Cafe, bought a piece of pie, took it back home and ate it. Strange to think about all that goes into writing a blog} There are a lot of people I find myself disliking this year. Many of them are people who had been in the gray area; but that wasn't organized enough for me so I passed my judgments and decided to make an assessment, like this guy:


What did it mean to you to see that?

I'm not going to criticize myself for not liking/hating numerous people; most of them have done something or possess some quality that makes them more than deserving of my dislike. But I find that these people are too frequently crossing my mind. If I hate them, I should merely ignore their presence and otherwise deny their existence. Yet too frequently I find myself mulling over in my mind what I don't like about them and why and who else hates them and how I would beat them up and ya-dada-da-da. NOT COOL. That's not what hatred is about. It's about me being in control of my opinions toward their person; not their person controlling my opinions. If they get to me, they win. And I just can't have a winner who isn't named Me.

Plus, this whole mess is in clear contradiction of New Year's Resolution Bullet Point Three. I have established that I hate this person, now it's time to let go.


Seems fishy, but when all is said and done you must place your trust in the mouth of a blue whale.

It's like dragging all your unwanted files to the Recycle Bin icon, and then never emptying your Recycle Bin. How will your computer ever run at its optimum level?!

So, here's to making a conscious effort to get over hating people. Screw them. Annnd... cut. Scene.

Yeesh, while looking for the right "Finding Nemo" picture I came across this:


Does that not scare the crap out of you? The correct answer is there is no correct answer because this picture gave you a heart attack when you saw it.

In other news, I visited EC today to pick up some assignments, and I talked to Mr. Roeder for the first time in about a year and a half... if you are wondering whether I have gotten over my silly little math teacher crush, then I ought to slap you across the face because it is no small crush. Have you ever SEEN Mr. Roeder? Anyway, I was totally choked up because I have this insecurity that he knows that I know about our secret wedding proposal which he doesn't know about. I haven't exactly made my sentiments private, and I'm betting there's some stupid kid who saw his picture in my "Hot People" album on Myspace and told him about it. I'll BET you. I'm paranoid. But anyway, conversation was brief; he was just stopping in to give Mrs. Sellers an invitation to a house warming party of his (can I come too?? I'll bring a lovely cheese spread... on my bare stomach). I didn't really say much, but I did crack some gem along the lines of, "I feel insecure not labeling my units!"


I wish they made Old Spice for women.

Well, after a whole week of not going to class, I now have a whole week of not going to class. President's Week is an absurd excuse to give us all that 7-day vacation proceeding Winter Break and Labor Day, but at least in the midst of having a week to do nothing we become a little more appreciative of class.

School: It's Voluntary Movement

I actually have some plans; I'm probably going to visit my friend in Fullerton for a few days. I also have some blocking rehearsals for The Wiz; 'bout time.

Uh-oh, you hear that noise I'm telling you to hear? It's time for

Wiz-Calculations
You don't need to be a math whiz to figure out the success rate of this show!

3 ensemble songs learned +

1 dance choregraphed +

0 scenes blocked +

0 scenes rehearsed +

6 more weeks -

6 weeks we've already used -

8 billion lines to be memorized +

0 solo songs fully polished
________________________

TOTAL: Failure!

The bottom line is we need to stop babying the people who don't know how to be in a musical (Step 1: sing; Step 2: dance) and actually finish the show. By this point I would've hoped to have been on a stage at least once; I would've hoped to at least read lines. I know I'm not the only one concerned. Our director is working on catalyzing the whole choreography situation, but thusfar there has been absolutely ZERO time allotted to acting the, uh... oh yeah, the PLAY out on a stage. And the time in the future that has been allotted? Two 3-hour blocks over President's Week. Good. All right. I'm sure we'll work out all 2-hours' worth of blocking in that time. Excellent.

I'm not all innocent myself, however; I haven't even begun to memorize my lines. They won't be too difficult, but I should be memorizing them anyway so that I can practice them. I'm also guilty of not being forceful enough in demanding that my doctor fork over the panacea to all illnesses that I know he's witholding from me. I am, after all, In A Show, so he should understand the dire nature of my situation.

My birthday is in a couple weeks. I know everyone in the world is simply DYING to get me the perfect gift because everyone cares about my birthday (as they have consistently shown over the past few years)... f&@%n' teenagers *runs off crying*

I'm drawing up a Birthday Wish List. Its primary purpose is to give me something to look at longingly and say to myself: "When I have a lot of money, I'm gonna get THOSE things."

J-Mil's Birthday Wish List

1. Tattoo (Pencil. With shading. On the spine. I don't care how much it hurts, you cannot talk me out of it)
   
2. U.S. currency in any usable form (including gift cards to the Westfield Mall, Target, and Kinkos)
3. Plastic headbands
4. More Bare Escentuals foundation
5. Underwear
6. Exciting new bedsheets
7. Hair dye (Soft Black)
   
8. Script-writing computer software (it exists somewhere...)
9. Camcorder
10. Gadgets. I like gadgets.
11. Canvas/paint
12. Electronic dictionary (preferably one with a Thesaurus)
    
13. I don't know... what's something a college student might find useful?

As you can see, my Wish List looks more like a grocery list than an actual "wild fantasy" spectacle of a list. I guess I just want practical, usable things. I am Bo to the Ring, aren't I?