Daily Events, Epithets, Psychological Thrillers, Music Videos, and YouTube.

Right. So... today may or may not have been waste. I stayed in bed in my pajamas all day, resting occasionally to eat, and once to pry a gopher out of my cat's mouth and then scoop it up with a shovel and toss it in the bushes. I did not wear shoes today, but I guess that's acceptable because today is some "a day without shoes" charity event. That had to be the easiest charitable act I ever committed, seeing as lying in bed all day with shoes on just wouldn't make sense.

Let's see... I wrote half of my Lit. project today, and a short script for the Toby awards. I tried watching "Sublime" but the version I got off the internet was all screwy... so... no conclusion. But I didn't quite understand what was happening in the movie so, no loss? But I was getting there... the dude finds a mysterious file and BLIP! Movie skips ten minutes ahead. Guy exposes mysterious tattoo on his chest and BLIP! Movie stops playing. T-rexiffic.

While on the toilet today I was thinking of nicknames-- more like epithets-- for myself, and one of the ones I came up with was "vegetarian abortionist." This makes zero sense and does not describe me in any regard, but then I got to thinking... is there a vegetarian abortionist out there? Odds are, yeah. It struck me as a hypocritical. It's not like people who aren't vegetarian eat people, but... if you support animal rights, wouldn't you automatically support babies' rights? Or something like that.

I stumbled upon this "video playlist" on the internet last night, titled "Twitch Psychological Thrillers." Ho-ho-ho, I thought to myself. Didn't I post a blog about this before? I tipped my thumb to my cherry nose and checked it out, and the results were right up my alley. The description read, "Psychological thrillers about protagonists whose conception of reality or self-identity is revealed to be mistaken." I laughed jollily and my stomach shook like a bowl full of jelly. Behold THE ultimate list of psychological thrillers; consider them a to-do check-list if you will. Strikethrough movies are the ones I've already seen.

Twitch Psychological Thrillers

• The I Inside
• Inland Empire
• The Machinist (was terrible, actually)
• Hard Candy
• Memento
• Sublime
• Jacob's Ladder
• A Beautiful Mind
• Secret Window
• eXistenZ
• A Scanner Darkly
• The Sixth Sense
• Haute Tension
• Mulholland Dr.
• Lost Highway
• Identity
• The Others
• Vanilla Sky
• Hide and Seek
• Stay
• Gothika
• Paycheck
• Spider
• The Thirteenth Floor
• Danika
• Dreamland
• Unknown
• The Nines
• He Was A Quiet Man
• Session 9
• Slipstream
• The Number 23
• Fight Club

Oh yeah, and the ones in red have made it on the large list of my all-time favorite movies. Sorry if you dislike my taste in movies-- oh wait, I'm not sorry, because I have great taste in movies. I took a stab at "Sublime" as I have mentioned earlier, but didn't get all the way through. I also took a slight poke at "Inland Empire." It's 3 hours long; I got through about half an hour. Weirdest stuff ever. You start watching it and you think it's a foreign Italian film... then there's people in rabbit suits... then there's an actress talking to a gypsy... and... yeah, bizarre. And THREE HOURS LONG. Directed by that Lynch dude; in fact, a few of these are. Never heard of him, but he makes classic psychological thrillers, so he's okay in my book. But hey, that's just one book.

In other news, amidst my farting about the internet I stumbled upon a drastically mistitled video:



More like most INGENIOUS music video ever. If the complex choreography doesn't get you, the meaningful lyrics will.

Anyway, I want to get a group of about 10 people to bring this music video back. And I'm fine being one of the dancers in red pants. Totally fine. Especially if I'm the red pants dancer in 1:48.

Oh Youtube... Youtube, Youtube, Youtube... just what am I supposed to do with you? Oh wait, a convenient FAQ section is right here. I can easily assert that hardXcore Youtube surfers are the strangest people ever. And the most irritable. A few "trolls" (that's a person who posts a deliberately provocative message to a newsgroup or message board with the intention of causing maximum disruption and argument, grandma... thank you Urbandictionary.com for your infinite wisdom) post a few volatile "tihs sux!!1!" comments and all of Youtube goes apeshit (a state of anger and rage that produces behavior more closely resembling that of an enraged ape than a human). Some user once got mad at me for making fun of Randy Newman... on a video of an SNL sketch making fun of Randy Newman. Good thing my Utoob h0mii3z backed me up and gave that user's comment the shameful "thumbs down." But Youtube users... my goodness. I have uploaded tons of videos: homemade music video spoofs, a good string of what I like to call humorous vlogs (grade A internet lingo); some pretty thought-provoking masterpieces of cinema... and the most hits I've gotten is on a video I made in middle school, titled "Problems With Society Today (As Portrayed By Hamsters)." In said video, I took my kid sister's Hamtaro figurines and had them act out what I perceived to be "problems with society." The video has, as of this date, 2,309 views. In the grand scheme of Youtube that isn't a whole lot, but when you break it down, that means two thousand, three hundred and nine people took the time to watch a homemade video of a teenage girl's hands moving around a bunch of tiny rubber hamster figurines. That, or even MORE baffling, some decent amount of people watched this video MORE THAN ONCE. This video also has the most comments of any video I've ever posted. And each one of them is a user updating me on how many Hamtaro figurines they have. From 1luvHamtaro: "I have like 19 now but when my others get here I'm gonna have 56." THAT MONEY COULD BE GOING TOWARD YOUR COLLEGE EDUCATION. And these are not MY toys! These are the toys that belong to my sister who is 8 YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME. I would say "get a job" but then I might start crying because no one will hire me... *sob*

P.S. My cat found the gopher corpse later and festooned my backyard with its guts.