Once There Was A Boy Who Woke Up With Blue Hair.

Those of you who are reading this entry from Facebook and are wondering why you've been tagged, the thing is this: I'm debating whether or not to cut my hair. I had it cut a while ago but I PUSSIED OUT and only got a few inches off; you couldn't really tell I had made any sort of adjustment. Then I had it medium-short for a while and that was cute. Then my friend said long hair was sexy, and I got lazy... so I became lazy and sexy and let my hair grow out. Now, I don't know. Should I leave it long? Cut it medium? Or cut it medium-short? Thanks to the power of layered haircuts, I was able to simulate what my hair would look like at each of these lengths. America, I'm asking YOUR opinion.


Long? aka current length.


Medium?


Short? (or is the middle one medium-long and this is medium...)

Either way, please vote!

Now on to the stuff you don't care about (because, let's face it, we ALL care about my hair). Let's count how many bug bites I have on me at this current point in time.

[3-minute time lapse]

32. I have 32 bug bites on me. And A) that's probably not all of them and B) I will probably wake up with more by tomorrow. This is RIDICULOUS.



Speaking of ridiculous amounts of things, there are spiders EVERYWHERE. It's not even spider season yet and already it's worse than a typical October. The sucky thing about having a room that's separate from the house is that, particularly at night, there is the constant terror of, "What if I walk into a spiderweb?" Gwen Stefani makes it sound cool, but believe me, it's anything but. So, over the past few evenings I've truncated the number of trips I make to and from my trailer, because the less time spent outside standing like a giant meal to the little eight-legged suckers, the better. Spiders have turned my life into a horror movie. I had to go find a flashlight earlier this evening to inspect the pathway for spiders, and sure enough, a web was stretched right in front of where I would've walked. I moved some lawn furniture around and carved a suitable path. Did I look stupid waving a giant flashlight around in my backyard? You bet I did.

And then the other evening was just absurd. A few nights ago I turned on my porch light and illuminated several MASSIVE webs with big ol' spiders stuck right in the middle of them. I needed to get inside, but the wind was blowing and their webs were dangerously close to where I had to walk. I retreated back into my room, terrified, looking for something to knock the suckers down with. I didn't have a broom, and that probably wouldn't have ended well anyhow because afterward I would be paranoid that there were angry spiders on the end of my broom. I had rocks in my room, but they were all decorative or heart-shaped or something nice like that. The only disposable things in my room that weren't tissues were... water bottles. Empty water bottles. Crazy? Maybe... maybe just crazy enough to work. The adrenaline rushed through my entire body as I suited up, gathering up my ammo. I stepped outside, zeroed in on my first web, and chucked a bottle at it. That little mofo went DOWN! It was exhilarating. I threw another. And another. One web took two bottles to fully dismantle. Thank goodness for my good aiming, because I only had about four bottles.

I must've looked like a crazy cat lady frantically throwing empty water bottles at my own backyard. Hmmm... now if I had a bunch of CATS to throw that would have w--

Today I went to a going-away barbecue at my friend's house, and that was fun. Apples to Apples keeps cropping up in my life. I own the Junior edition, which has its pros and cons. But tonight we played the adult, all-growed-up Apples to Apples, and I rediscovered how awesome it is to have cards like "Samuel L. Jackson" and "Beer Bellies." While trying to find a template card to make the image above, I came across this article and knew I had to share it with the world because this is such an incredibly sweet, thoughtful, creative idea: Marriage Proposal.

It makes me want to be a guy so I can come up with an elaborate scheme of proposing. Don't give me that "girls can propose too" crap. I am a lady and I expect to be treated as such.

"But J-Mil, don't you need a potential HUSBAND to have any sort of proposal in the picture?"
"Well I guess that would--"
"Or a boyfriend for that matter? Anyone of the male species who finds you at all appealing? Tough break J-Mil. You can always propose to your 17 cats you're going to own by the time you're 40."

I don't know who here has ever heard the song "God Shuffled His Feet" by the Crash Test Dummies, but that is one bizarre and entertaining song. Completely silly. The Crash Test Dummies' songs are so... like... none of this is figurative language, this is all plain, simple language and forthright observations... but WTF are they talking about?

Behold the silliness



I like the video this little punk made to go with the song... it's a lot better and more accurate than the actual video. The image at 1:41 cracks me up, as does 2:01 and 3:40. xD