"Hey J-Mil, shouldn't you be working on your movie script which should by all rights be done by tomorrow right now?"
"Hey J-Mil, shouldn't you be working on your monologue some more right now?"
"Hey J-Mil, shouldn't you be doing Callanetics right now?"
Oh how right you are, voice of disprocrastination (hooray for intellectual sounding but entirely fictional words!). BUUUUT I don't feel like it. So I won't. I will blog. I will blog to my little heart's content.
So, I have a bit of a bone to pick with Mylifeisaverage.com. Call me old fashioned, but I wholly support MLIA for what it originally was: a subtle mockery of fmylife.com-- which, however grotesquely amusing, has every reason (like most things) to be profusely mocked. But MLIA has changed into a haven for attention-starved individuals who want the masses to know how awesome their lives are. Ah! Awesome-- not average. MLIA used to consist of gems such as: "Today, I made a joke about blondes. There was a blonde there. No one cared. MLIA" and "Today I really wanted some Pop Tarts. I went to the store to get some, but they were out of Raspberry, my favorite kind. I bought Strawberry instead, because Strawberry is almost as good as Raspberry. MLIA" Taste how average that is? It's glorious. It's genius. Sheer genius.
And that's what the naysayers don't understand. Supporters of the new MLIA enjoy the stories which, yes, are far more entertaining to read... but they do not have the refined cyber-pallet to appreciate the cleverness behind the curtain of traditional MLIA. MLIA was not created for the stories; it was created as contrast to FML. FML is a string of horrific but often deliciously funny events that happen to people... when in reality, our lives are quite average. Hence, MLIA. There's nothing average about "Today, a homeless man challenged me to a dance off. I accepted. He won. MLIA" Yes, it's humorous, but it's not the humor that MLIA was created for.
Am I completely writing off neo-MLIA? Absolutely not. The stories-- if true-- are great... they just don't belong on MLIA. They belong on something like Mylifeisawesome.com or Mylifeisfullofobscureharrypotterreferences.com.
Or maybe they just belong on Myspace.com with the rest of the attention whores.
In other news, I just looked up 'scuttlebutt' on Dictionary.com (my best friend ever since I started college) because I have no idea what it means. Yeah, it's the name of my blog (Facebook readers don't get it; that's cool), but I really only chose it because... I mean, c'mon, 'scuttlebutt'? What a hilarious word! It's probably the [scuttle]butt of many a joke in the world of the English language.
"J-Mil, are you implying that words exist in their own worlds, and interact with one another as humans do?"
I neither confirm nor deny this.
But yeah. Apparently a scuttlebutt is a drinking fountain on a ship. Fascinating. Want to know something cool, though? It also said 'scuttlebutt' is slang for gossip or news. Apparently boaters (or, let's be honest, pirates) gathered around the scuttlebutt on their ship to tell stories and gossip. So! Technically, my blog title kind of makes contextual sense! That's pretty awesome (NOT average). And now that I know what 'scuttlebutt' means, I'm going to try to incorporate it into common day use.
"Hey guys! What's the scuttlebutt?"
"...What?"
"The scuttlebutt! You know! What's happenin'? What's the scoop?"
"...I... I'm sorry, I can't do this. I don't care HOW much you pay us to be your friends, this has to end."
You know what is turning out to be the most valuable thing I am taking from Philosophy of Love and Human Sexuality? Class participation. I generally don't have much to say unless I'm particularly vehement (I had to check Dictionary.com to make sure this was the right word. It was. MLIA) about a topic. But PLHS essentially runs: "Go home. Read this long article. Form an opinion about it. Talk about it in class." And this isn't always stuff I'm passionate about, but I find the more I engross myself in the topic the more I am able to care about it. This started out as a good thing... but now all I want to do in class is talk over everyone and spend the whole class trying to pin my ideas down by ranting out loud until I figure out what the heck it is that's floating around in my noodle. And often I'll have a point I DESPERATELY want to make but by the time I get called on we've digressed or someone has said something close to my idea. Today was awful. I was academically blue-balled! Need! To get! Ideas! Out! Of head cavity!
Then my next class suffers because everyone's quiet in there and I storm in with a barrel of opinions.
Feel my wrath!
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