Or As I Like To Call It, J.Lo.I.T.T.Mo.Mn.E.F.T.W.Ia.Cs.H.T.A

J-Mil's List of Intriguing Tidbits That Might Or Might Not Ever Find Their Way Into a Conversation, So Here They Are

1. I saw the Dalai Llama speak, among other prominent world leaders such as the former prime minister of Poland and the former French president. I was literally sitting, like, 10 feet away from the guy.

 He was somewhat hard to understand.
:'(


:)



:D



xD



>:(

2. On my last night in Prague, I saw crowds of people marching solemnly through the streets with a giant Czech flag above their heads. The first president of the Czech Republic, Vaclav Havel, had just died. It's chilling and absolutely crazy to think about.

3. When I was younger, I didn't know that "nuts" was slang for "testicles" and I just thought it referred to any private parts. So one day a boy on the playground kicked me in the vagina, and as I was recounting the event to my carpool the next day I said, "...And then he kicked me in the nuts."

4. I once walked out in the middle of a Mad Science class in like... 4th grade because I was the obnoxious class clown, and the teacher reprimanded me, and I was not gonna put up with that shit so I just packed my things and walked home. I never made silly putty that year.

5. During my freshman year of college I was in a class called Ethical Theories, and I had a habit of ceaselessly asking difficult questions that make us all hate our lives. So one day when my teacher was addressing a question I had just asked, she referred to it as a "Quessica." And that's how I got the nickname "Quessica" among certain folks in the Whittier Philosophy Department.

6. I had a piano teacher who lived in a creepy mansion that had literally been put on wheels and awkwardly plopped into an otherwise normal suburban neighborhood (I know this because there were multiple documented news articles about it hanging on the wall). It was stuffy, creaky, and my instructor's wife designed doll gowns for a living so there were crazy, elaborate Victorian dolls staring at you all over the house. There were rumors that a ghost haunted the place, which was easy to believe when the "waiting bench" faced you a few feet away from a menacing air vent with wrought-iron floral patterns over it.

7. Also, in my current neighborhood there's this other house that looks like a swamp shack, and much like my piano teacher's place, it is a strange-looking house plopped into an average suburban neighborhood. It's surrounded by foot-high weeds and I'm pretty sure it's built on stilts. This is the home of the Witch of Oceanside. A typical angsty high school prank to pull on a Friday night was to drive up to her house in the middle of the night, creep up to her door, and knock on it. You would instantly hear a blood-curdling scream from inside, because that lady was bat shit crazy and went insane whenever the outside world tried to get in touch with her. She would often scream expletives like, "God damn it get off of my fucking property!!" and one time I even saw her run out with a broom (okay, I may have watched from the car on a couple Witch of Oceanside excursions). I can't remember what she looked like, but I remember that she gave me the chills. She looks as crazy as she probably was.

8. AND in my neighborhood growing up I passed by a creepy-looking house on the way to elementary school. The weeds were so overgrown that they were about two feet high in the driveway cracks. An old, undriven yellow car was parked out front. Stacks of newspapers flooded the driveway. It was horrifying. Even more horrifying is the reason it went unoccupied-- the guy living there had Alzheimer's disease and he smothered his wife to death with a pillow in that house. Not long after, he caved from his guilt and shot himself. That shit HAPPENED in my hood.

So now the rumor of that house is that every Halloween, blood drips down the stairs of that house to the first floor. Yeah, it has nothing to do with the facts of what happened in that house. We were in elementary school, scary stories didn't have to make sense.

...There have been a significant number of eerie places in my life.

9. During Winter Break last year, we had a heavy rainy season that broke through a massive hole int the ceiling and dripped onto my bed for the two weeks or so that I was gone. By the time I returned to campus, my room smelled awful and my bed was a soggy pile of mold. Whittier College had to reimburse me for my damaged items.

And that's how I got these sick new bedsheets!

You wish I was kidding.

10. I'm part of a fraternity-type thing on campus known as a society. Societies are basically less-douchy if not slightly less-legit fraternities and sororities. I'm part of the Sachsen Society, which is best classified as a co-ed fraternity. We're like... one of three in the nation. I'm so proud *tear*. Well, every year we host an on-campus event known as Psychedelic Circus, which is basically a daytime music fest with tye dye, henna, hookah, slip n' slides, and so on. It's a good old-fashioned shameless hippie fest.

Flyer formatted by the incomparable Irene, and illustrated by the incomparable Google images search engine.

This year we're gonna have jell-o wrestling. AND... perhaps most exciting of all... we got a parachute. Yes. The parachute that you think you may be thinking of. A big, colorful rainbow parachute that you played in P.E. when you were like seven.

[may be conducive to hot-boxing, more updates as this hypothesis develops]

I've already played more games than I could possibly say with it, and Psychedelic Circus isn't for another week. I might be a loser... but more likely you're just jealous that you don't have an awesome parachute to sit on while you eat lunch. What do we gain from sitting on the parachute during lunch, you ask? Nothing. We are just very attached to our parachute.

11. We totally hung the parachute from the second floor of our housing today, creating an awesome Rainbow Cave under the balcony.

12. I had a professor who knew the guy who discovered the color purple.

13. I generally have very heavy periods. Can't unlearn that now, can you?

14. My best friend gave me an awesome present for Christmas (or my birthday? I confuse my stuff-getting holidays) this past year. It's a world map that's all one color, and you scratch off the countries you've visited to reveal their colors underneath. So far I've scratched off Mexico, parts of the U.S., and pieces of Spain, the Czech Republic, Switzerland, Germany, Italy, Amsterdam and London. It takes a scratch map to show you just how depressingly insignificant these travels are. I mean, honestly, has anyone LOOKED at Russia lately? That place is massive!

Russia, y u red?

15. I became vegetarian over last Summer, officially launching me into the wonderful and terrifying world of cheese, tofu and hot sauce, all of which I love. I put sriracha on everything. You want to see what my Facebook profile picture was for a while?

You want to see what my diet has been for a while?

Obsessed. Spicy food is my life. I frequently order 9 or 10-level curry at thai restaurants.

16. I'm obsessed with thai. Perhaps that's not very intriguing, but it's not meant to be. It's supposed to be a hint that you should get me thai food. I like red curry with tofu.