LOLcats Are A Useful Resource.

Whoah. Weird dream last night. It had a lot of different bits and pieces to it, and I won't share certain parts because they involve aspects of my personal life I'd rather not publicize. The main part was this: I got my new camera in the mail and it was HUGE. About 3'x2'x6"... massive. But surprisingly lightweight. It was about as heavy as an empty cardboard box. Needless to say when I got it I was devastated. I wasn't expecting a sleek, teensy camera, but this felt like some sort of punishment. It took photos fine, but at the same time, I was just so upset that it was massive and I wouldn't be able to take it with me ANYWHERE.

In another section of the dream, my house was absolutely overrun with spiders (not far from the truth). Every breed, color, obscure shape imaginable was living in my house. I kept having to go outside, and for whatever reason I was always barefoot and wearing shorts, so I was in this constant state of wariness, anxiety and terror. They were all... so... UGLY. x_X

Aggravating dream... even more aggravating were the personal bits... it sucks when you have a dream where good things happen to you, and then you wake up and realize it was all in your mind and your circumstances are still crappy. I went through a phase once where every night my dream had the SAME terrific outcome; each time I awoke euphorically happy and then suicidally depressed milliseconds later, upon acknowledging the truth that it never really happened. Then, one night, as the same thing was happening in my dream, I remember actually stopping in the middle of the dream, contemplating whether or not it was real, deciding it felt too real to be a dream, accepted it as a reality, carried on... then woke up. Like something out of a movie, right? I was living in a paradox. I wanted to stab myself in the head.

I really hate "Deal Or No Deal." My dad and Sarah are always watching GSN, and "Deal Or No Deal" is her favorite show. It makes me sick to watch. It's just a bunch of bright lights, colors, noises, and models. The show is the definition of what's wrong with the media, and why television rots our minds. Contestants come on and suck up to baldy-goatee-man and melt whenever he talks to them. They look like idiots. They should all go home with "I lost my dignity on 'Deal Or No Deal'" bumper stickers. Have some self respect, people! You can be excited out of you mind AND look like someone with a 3-digit IQ! I've seen it done. What I hate the most about the show, though, is the audience. They get a little too "into it," and it freaks me out. They sound and act like a giant cult. They give in to these animalistic urges and shout like a bunch of asylum patients, to the point where I suddenly feel like I'm watching a Roman Colosseum, and they're just about to release the lion. It makes me uncomfortable to see hordes of people all lashing out and all in the same mindset. But hey, that's just a conspiracy theorist's perspective... we're crazy.

The weather was ridiculously hot today; a decidedly poor day to be ridiculously hot since I was inside my tin box most of the day. I don't know how it came to pass, but the more I clean my room out, the harder it becomes to walk on m floor. Boxes, beads, binders- everywhere! And just HOW do I move all this shit I've packed from here to my dorm room? I haven't even packed my clothes yet and already I've got my largest suitcase full.

Most of my friends started class on Monday... I'm in an awkward limbo between when their school starts and my school starts. I have this two-week downtime, and sure, I'm using it to organize all my stuff... but I sincerely miss my personal life. Everyone's busy. It's ridiculous, but it makes me feel GUILTY. Like, "J-Mil, why aren't YOU in class? YOU should get off your lazy ass and do school work instead of just poking around your room all day! WE'RE doing something with our lives, and you want to 'hang out' with us? P-sha! Away, slight woman." I'MA GONNA GO I SWURR!


D:

Ridiculous. You know what else is ridiculous? Patty Pan Squash.


Honestly, what vegetable INTENTIONALLY grows to look like this?