It is 3:27am and I am lying (laying? I always forget) on the floor of my littlest sister's room in a sleeping bag. Unbeknownst to her.
"But J-Mil," you ask, "Why aren't you sleeping in your regular bed in your regular room with your regular sister?"
To which I would first reply that regularity is only relative... and I often question whether I'm actually related to my older-younger-sister. But the reason I'm stuck on the floor here is because the sliding glass door to our room is on strike. Now, normally, I enjoy fighting inanimate objects, but this was a direct act of insubordination and I was not amused. I just went inside to brush my teeth and stare loathingly at my reflection for a few moments, and when I came back out the sliding door wouldn't budge. Heather (older-younger-sister) was asleep and playing her nighttime playlist (which I should copy down in a blog sometime so you guys can see what I put up with... who falls asleep to Eminem for Christ's sake?), so she probably couldn't hear me. And it was difficult to even hang onto the door because I had put on lotion.
So the outside spectator would've seen a girl in tye dye and owl-decorated pajama shorts slipping and falling over herself trying to open a glass door that only shook and made ungodly belching noises.
This is my life.
Since Heather has school tomorrow and I don't, I decided not to wake her since it was about midnight when I threw down with the glass door. Instead, I left a note outside proclaiming, "The effing DOOR won't open!!!" Yeah. That'll show 'em. Defeated, I went back inside the house, unrolled a sleeping bag on the floor beside my sleeping youngest-younger-sister April, and have been royally stood up by sleep for the past 3 hours and 40 minutes or so.
At around 1:40am I remembered that a guy had died in this room. Coincidentally, not long after I swore to Bob I could hear another person breathing. Then I looked over and realized that there WAS another person breathing... April. But then shortly after I could hear these weird shrill noises... before recognizing that this room does have electricity and that sometimes electricity makes noises. And THEN I was POSITIVE I heard an ominous voice chanting satanic incantations about a revolutionary egg-cracking product known as the EZ Cracker... and then I remembered the t.v. was on in the other room.
This sleeping bag is pissing me off. If it were REALLY a sleeping bag, I wouldn't be awake at 4am typing on my little sister's laptop. This thing is ridiculous, by the way. I thought I would like a teeny laptoplet like this because it says "Eee!" on the front. Adorable. But so deceptive. This thing effing sucks. You have to have little-people hands to work this darn contraption. Perfect for April, who's not allowed to play near cereal bowls because we're afraid she might fall in and drown. NOT perfect for certain young women who somehow dodged the hereditary stubby-midget-gene and have normal sized hands.
I wonder if April will step on me tomorrow morning. That would be an amusing role-reversal.
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